With too many ideas of what to write in my idea list, and with the most idea-saturated ones causing the most delay in writing, I figure I'd write about something that may be easier to deploy from brain to keyboard.
I've noticed a common habit or theme of which I think would be wise to raise awareness. If the Law of Attraction has any merit, and I can vouch for that truth for my own reality, then why are people spending so much energy listing what they do NOT want?
Under "message me if...." it might make sense to say "message me if you love whole food and vegan restaurants, bike rides in the country, and reading gardening books." Ok great, now we have a mental idea of who you would want to hang out with, and likely who you are as well. But if your profile says "DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU are some [expletive] that only wants to party on the weekend and go shopping all week, I ain't havin dat!" Ok...we can deduce that you have strong feelings towards that type of person, and those feelings are the opposite of warm and fuzzy. We can gather how you would react if placed in a close space with them. But we actually have no idea from that, what you DO like...other than someone who is not into those things. Pretty general though, wouldn't you say? Like saying "don't you dare attempt communication with me if you have an outie belly button!" Ok.... soooo maybe that is relevant to you...but innie belly buttons come with a few million different types of people attached to them.... so again.... what is it that you DO WANT? Because telling us what you don't want isn't doing anyone any favors in this case. While being aware of what you don't want, and boundaries surrounding that is important...knowing what you do want is even more important and will get you closer to finding that.
I've heard a lot about focus, focus, focus. Narrow down EXACTLY what you want. So not just "I could go for a hamburger" if what would make you happiest is "I really would love some grass fed hamburger from _____ with mustard, relish, lettuce, tomato, and onion only if it's sauteed, preferably on Ezekiel bread...but where can I find Ezekiel bread around here anyway? And man I hope they'll toast it with coconut oil." Ok....NOW we have a real idea of what you want! If you're going to have that burger, might as well close your eyes in bliss as you bite in, rather than "settling" for a junk bun because you weren't specific about what you DO want. And then having the digestive discomfort later as a result.
As I did not intend this as a nutrition post, let's get back to the matter at hand. Ok, so, tell us what you WANT, not what you are trying to avoid! Because the Law of Attraction would say that the powers that be do not hear "no"...... so what you give energy to, you bring to you. Which is all the more reason to stop living in fear, which can be a post for another day, but if you are constantly thinking about what you fear, there's no room for what you love and want to come in.
Energy flows where attention goes.
Aim your attention on what you WANT....
To revisit the original example....it shows someone who is specific in what they do like. Great. Kind of draws you in at all the positive traits they are looking for. People love positivity, and positive people.
It could have been a whole different story if it read more like this. "I don't want to talk to you if you eat at fast food restaurants, get exercise in a place with 4 walls or sit on the couch, and haven't picked up a book in the past year!" Not only would that probably offend all those people you just mentioned, but the original person you were seeking in the original example? They probably will be turned off by all the negativity and not even see that you were hoping for someone just like them. Unless they are someone who would sound just as negative and bitter. But I haven't met too many people who enjoy fresh air and whole food that are able to maintain that level of negativity, so I think it'd be hard to research.
Either way the take home message is, be positive, be specific, and focus on what you WANT! Out of people in the online world, and in LIFE!
Imagine what you would be grateful for if it were in front of you right now, and make that your request.