Particularly Complimentary

It all just came together.  Middle of the night, replaying the day's events.  I had taught Institute last week, I LOVED the lesson I ended up being assigned- Nurturing the Marriage Relationship and Multiply and Replenish the Earth.  I taught about different ways people like to give and receive love, and how to more effectively love people.  


Compliments are one way to really make someone's day, with little time, effort, and no cost!  However it's important to make it personalized, and not merely something that could just as easily apply to anyone else in the room.  


Exhibit A:   "Your hair looks nice."  

"Are you talking to me?"   Hard to tell because that could be said to anyone around me....

Exhibit B:

"Wow, your hair looks so fabulous today!  It has so much volume, and the angles of the style really accent your necklace nicely and flatter your cheekbones!"  

Now that's a compliment we can get behind because it's specific and personal, and therefore more meaningful to the recipient because they know it was crafted just for THEM, personalized to the qualities they posses.  It's like a verbal embrace, instead of just a verbal thumbs up.  


The compliment I heard today "hey that necklace looks so nice with your dress! I love it when things match!"    It was so many hours later when I actually realized how specific that was.  Why it induced such a large smile.  It wasn't that the necklace or dress were an object of pride.  That outfit was not carefully selected with any great fashion sense.  The magic was in the specificity.  The  care taken to say something meaningful.  To say the extra sentence explaining the WHY element.  


Some of the best feelings:  Making people laugh, hearing "wow I hadn't thought of it like that"  and added to the list: seeing your lesson put into action and utilized.